Ranking HARRY POTTER'S seven Christmases

Harry Potter is not exactly a series of Christmas stories but there are a few factors that make it feel right at home around the holidays. For one, there’s the fact that every book features at least one chapter set on and around December 25th. Now, since the books span a whole school year, from September to June, that’s to be expected; that alone hardly qualifies it as worthy of Christmas reading/watching. That being said, those particular Christmas chapters are pretty memorable, almost to a book. There’s usually some big event, important clue, or funny moment that happens to Harry and the gang around Christmastime.

And then there’s the fact that, for years, ABC Family would play a marathon of the Harry Potter movies around the holidays, always showing those fleeting moments in the movies where snow and Christmas trees were on screen…

So, despite the fact that Halloween seems considerably more appropriate (October 31st was the day Voldemort was defeated by Lilly’s Love), Harry Potter has sort of fallen into being a Christmas event.

No complaints from me.

With that said, here is our ranking of each of the seven Christmases that Harry enjoyed during the series, from least to most memorable and entertaining.

#7  THE PRISONER OF AZKABAN

“The Firebolt” is pretty subdued in terms of Christmas happenings and trappings. Nevertheless, presents are handed out, including a new broomstick that’s given to Harry from an anonymous donor. Hermione of course assumes something sinister and declares the broom too dangerous to use. She even says she believes Sirius Black gave the gift to Harry, in the kind of hilarious foreshadowing that readers know to love about JK Rowling.

After the enchantment of the first book’s Christmas and the whimsical fun of the second, book three spent most of its time laying more of the pieces in place for the second half of the book to tie up. A lot of time is devoted to Hagrid and Buckbeak which was certainly important to the plot, but unrelated to the holiday setting.

#6  THE HALF-BLOOD PRINCE

“A Very Frosty Christmas” tells of Harry spending his holiday at the Burrow with the Weasley’s and more than a few members of the Order of the Phoenix. In terms of laughs, there are a few, particularly Molly Weasley’s feuding with Fleur Delacour over the former’s love of magical Christmas music (“A Cauldron Full of Hot Strong Love” being the main sticking point).

There’s some disagreement between the Order and Harry as to whether or not Snape can be trusted (the same argument that we’ve been having since book one, and it comes to a head in the climax of this book), but nothing new is established other than Lupin’s insistence that Dumbledore trusts Snape and therefore everyone else should too. Other than that, the big event is the return of Percy to the Family Christmas, only for him to be there as an excuse for Rufus Scrimgeour to get a read on Harry. Ron got a necklace from Lavender Brown for Christmas; poor guy always gets bad garments and accessories for the holidays. It’s a fine chapter with some fun moments, but ultimately not very memorable.

#5  THE GOBLET OF FIRE

“The Yule Ball,” on the other hand, is easily one of Goblet of Fire’s most memorable chapters (and movie scenes). The holiday begins with Dobby delivering his present to the boy who freed him. He gave socks as a gift, which, to a house elf, is probably the greatest gift he could think of. The rest of their Christmas day is filled with happiness and levity…but then night falls and the Yule Ball begins.

Ron’s dress robes date to the 70’s from the look of them. Harry and Ron take the Patil twins, though Harry would rather be with Cho and Ron would rather be with Hermione; the Patil’s would have settled for anyone willing to care that they were there, poor girls. What follows is an expertly-written back-and-forth by Rowling, as she moves from the humor of the awkward teenage dance to the intrigue of Karkaroff and Snape and the book’s Big Mystery. The chapter ends with Harry learning way too much about Hagrid and Madame Maxime and being told by Cedric Diggory to use the Prefect’s Swanky bathroom. As fun and mysterious as the chapter is in the book, this is one of the few times where the movie’s interpretation measures up to the printed page. Ron’s dress robes and the cringy awkwardness of everyone at the dance (minus Hermione) really lands in the movie.

#4  THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS

“The Polyjuice Potion” brings us Harry’s second Christmas at Hogwarts. He gets a toothpick as a gift from his aunt and uncle. That has to be my favorite gift anyone gives anyone in the whole series. The chapter focuses on the trio’s attempts to infiltrate Slytherin’s common room. There are some great comedic moments as Hermione plays the superstar here (Seriously, Hermione’s skills are already at NEWT Level and she’s only twelve years old!), whipping up a couple chocolate cakes spiked with magical roofies meant to knock out Crabbe and Goyle. The duo’s hair is then added to the Polyjuice Potion she’d been brewing in Moaning Mertyl’s bathroom (the same bathroom that contained the entrance to the Chamber of Secrets right under their noses, which is what they were trying to sneak down to the Slytherin room to find out how to open…gosh I love these books).

Harry and Ron head down to get some answers (Hermione refuses to leave her stall) from Draco but only discover that the little white-haired twerp has no idea who’s been opening the Chamber. The fun ends as Ron starts to change back into himself and they manage to make it back to Hermione just in time to discover she turned into a literal Thundercat.

#3 THE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX

“Christmas on the Closed Ward” (considered alongside its preceding chapter, “St. Mungo’s Hospital”) is an excellent bit of writing that accomplishes two very important tasks. For one, it lets the reader exhale after the insanity that had just concluded; Harry had a vision through his connection to Voldemort, witnessing Nagini attack Arthur Weasley. Pandemonium ensued which culminated in Harry being whisked away to Grimmauld Place (but not before locking eyes with Dumbledore and feeling a furious desire to murder him spring up from his toes to his scar…wild). For a first time reader, a trip to the Hospital was probably needed just to get the blood pressure down.

Spending the holidays at Grimmauld Place revealed Sirius exuberant and cheerful, which ultimately is heartbreaking considering we know it’s a short-lived euphoria. Gifts are exchanged and there’s a mixture of serious talk and silly, but it’s not till we head off to St. Mungo’s that the real fun begins. Rowling absolutely shines in describing all the ways in which magical people live amongst blissfully ignorant Muggles. The Hospital appearing to non-wizarding folk to be a rundown old building while actually being a bustling go-to for magical maladies is beautifully described.

Inside we get to smile at Molly lecturing Arthur on trying a Muggle remedy for his snake bites (stitches!). Ron bumps into a healer in a painting who tells him he has spattergroit (the very disease Ron would later fake having in book seven!)…and then they all run into Lockhart; what a wonderful callback and a surprise that was. We also meet Neville’s delightful grandmother, take in the horrors of the cruciatus curse that ruined his parents and end with the reveal that it was Bellatrix Lestrange who did the damage, all of which are critical points of information for the rest of this book and the series as a whole.

In terms of sheer happenings, Harry’s fifth Hogwarts Christmas was certainly his most eventful.

#2 THE PHILOSOPHER’S STONE

“The Mirror of Erised” is a hard Christmas chapter top. You can tell as a reader that the happenings of Harry’s first Hogwarts holidays was a very important chapter to Rowling and one she worked hard to get just perfect. It has the most “Christmas holidays from school” feel of all the chapters; very relaxed and casual. The trio are trying desperately to learn who Nicholas Flamel is but first there’s Christmas to enjoy: Harry learns wizard chess, gets his first Weasley sweater from Ron’s mom (and gets a couple quarters from his aunt and uncle) and chocolate frogs from Hermione, the very frogs that tell you exactly who Nicholas Flamel is because they already read about it on Dumbledore’s card half a dozen chapters ago! GOSH THESE BOOKS ARE WONDERFUL TO RE-READ!

Anyway, the real kicker comes when Harry anonymously is gifted his father’s old invisibility cloak. He uses it to search the castle at night and stumbles upon the Mirror of Erised, which reflects not simply the one looking at it, but what the person desires most of all. Harry, of course, sees himself with his parents, a moment that resonates a lot more powerfully for the parent reading the book to his child than it does to the child, I assure you.

Still, in one fell swoop, Rowling gives us a great bit of magical world building, a set-up for the book’s climax, and a pair of objects—the cloak as well as the mirror—that will become crucially important to the series as the books progress. The cloak is a Hallow and the mirror, while not obviously important, gives us a hint that there’s more to Dumbledore than meets the eye. The man wasn’t seeing himself with socks when he looked in the mirror; anyone reading the book over the age of eleven would have guessed that, but it wouldn’t be until the end of the series that we finally understood what he really desired most of all.

#1 THE DEATHLY HALLOWS

“Godrick’s Hollow” and “The Mirror of Erised” were neck-and-neck for the top spot but Harry’s last Christmas in the series gets the prize for having the perfect combination of holiday happenings, tender moments and enticing mysteries all in the backdrop of a snow-covered town on Christmas Eve. The trio had been hopping locations, vainly searching for horcruxes while the one they have—which they can’t figure out how to destroy—eats away at them. Ron finally snaps, leaves the group in a lurch and forces Harry and Hermione to go on without him. After a period of mourning, the two of them decide to go to the place where Harry was born and where Voldemort was first stopped by him. They both suspect a trap but Hermione is willing to risk it since she thinks the Sword of Godric Gryffindor might be there; Harry just wants to see his parents’ graves.

They arrive at the snow-covered village to the sound of carols ringing from the nearby church. They investigate and come across several tombstones whose surnames hold significance to the series. They also find the triangular rune-symbol that Hermione had, to that point, been unable to decode. Unlike other JK Rowling mysteries, this one was played close to her vest till she was ready to reveal it. As of now it’s just a tantalizing mystery.

Harry and Hermione find the remains of Harry’s childhood home, now turned into a monument. There’s a moment of solemn reflection as Harry—who previously had allowed tears to fall over his parents graves—stares at the monument (which had been graffiti’d with words of encouragement) with a renewed sense of purpose and understanding that millions of lives were at stake and he had to be the one to step up.

And then they ran into zombie Bathilda Bagshot with a giant snake hiding inside her magically-animated corpse.

Just Harry Potter things.

Happy Christmas everyone!